Summer Lovin’ (Part 1 of 3)- Sexuality: Three Purposes
If you grew up in the 80s like me, hearing the term “Summer Lovin'“ probably brings you straight back to the movie Grease.
While I'm not going to dissect the cult classic, I think it's important to note that many of us got some sex education from that movie. I know I did. But we have to go back even further than that Hollywood blockbuster to discover and sort out everything we think we know about sex and sexuality, and just how very wrong we may be. Now, I don't have leather pants (Hallelujah), but as we will look at summer lovin' God's way over the next few months, believe me— it will be just as hot!
What do you think of when I say God- not Hollywood, created sex and relationships with purposes for each?
This statement typically causes some mixed reactions. Most Believers in God know this to be true. Still, we do not understand how sexuality and faith work together practically. Maybe we were taught with fear tactics in church that sex is dangerous, wrong, or evil, so "save it for your spouse.” Or maybe even the thought of mixing Jesus with the topic of sex causes so much pain or confusion that we can't think about it all.
No matter where you land with this statement, the reality is what you have learned, seen in movies, or always assumed to be true about sexuality and sex is probably wrong. Welcome to the club!
Do any of these sound familiar?
God is a killjoy when it comes to sex.
God's rules on sex are outdated and not relevant to today's culture.
Sex should only be taught and talked about within the context of marriage.
God gave us sexual desires and then made rules surrounding them to punish us.
God is love, so all love is ok.
God just wants me to be happy.
I'm sure that you could add many more. We all carry misconceptions, misinformation, and false beliefs about God's plan for our sexuality.
However, as much as we try, and despite all of the misconceptions and beliefs surrounding sexuality, we can't separate God from sex. Sexuality and God are so closely intertwined that our view of Him and His position in our lives directly correlates with our views on sex, relationships, and even identity.
If we are confused about God, we will be confused about aspects of sexuality.
We could talk all day about what is broken with sex, and stay tuned because we'll get there! But first, let's start with the flawless original design. In the first two chapters of Genesis, God reveals His plan and purposes for sex.
The three purposes of sex outlined in scripture are procreation, intimacy, and pleasure.
1- PROCREATION
Having babies! Male and female bodies were designed to create children together. Our anatomy— inside and out, hormones, and the way we meet, are attracted to one another, and marry are all part of God's design for us to participate in His divine creative nature and the act of creation itself.
Here’s the evidence of this Truth in scripture:
“Then God blessed them and said, ‘Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the Earth and govern it.’”
“Now Adam had sexual relations with (or knew) his wife, Eve, and she became pregnant.”
We get to take part in the making of people! This is an enormous privilege. What’s more, people are made in the image of God.
Being made in God's image or likeness (Genesis 1:27) also means that we get the honor of feeling, in this tangible way, the magnitude of His love for us. Being a parent and the imperfect love we have for our children is only a tiny glimpse at how God perfectly loves and cares for us. There is no greater love! This brings me to God’s second purpose for sex.
2- INTIMACY
Sex was designed for intimacy. Intimacy is defined as close familiarity with another person. God created the desire we have for intimacy so we can draw near to Him, become one in marriage, and form non-sexual, loving relationships with others as commanded by Christ (John 13:34).
Those deep desires you have to experience closeness, feel familiarity and companionship, and share life with another person are how God feels about us. Only a relationship with Him can genuinely fulfill that need. In the marriage relationship, the bond and intimacy are defined as two people becoming "one flesh" and are a picture of a couple being united at the deepest level physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Sex in a covenant marriage is God's gift to people as a physical representation of His design for our relationship with Him while we’re here on Earth.
“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
To cleave is the actual splitting of something to become a half and then a solid bond to a separate thing and becoming whole together— permanently. Having sexual intercourse outside of the marriage covenant will never fulfill the desire for intimacy with another person. It is only a temporary substitution.
3- PLEASURE
Last but certainly not least, pleasure. Sex is meant to be good and enjoyable when expressed by mutual consent and in a respectful relationship with a spouse. It can enhance happiness, well-being, health, and quality of life for both the man and the woman. God even designed the male and female anatomy for pleasure. This is not a one-sided design or a model of one person getting what they want. God's creation is for the enjoyment and happiness of both people.
“Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”
Side thought: The Garden of Eden is translated as Enclosure of Pleasure. What do you think Adam and Eve were doing ;)
All of God's purposes for sex lead back to Him. He is the Creator of sex, and He made it for our good. His design leads us back to our relationship with Him and represents His love for us.
In Part 2 of our Summer Lovin’, we discuss where we go wrong with sexuality and why it's such a problem when we divert from God's plan. Lastly, in Part 3 we'll discuss how to navigate sexuality today.
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Written by Krista Blalock
President and Co-founder
krista@flourishkenya.org
Does this information challenge or change your thoughts on God and sexuality? We would love to hear about it! Email us at info@flourishkenya.org
All of the content in this article was adapted from Flourish Kenya's Sexual and Reproductive Health Curriculum. Flourish Kenya delivers this and many more life-changing messages to youth in rural Kenya. You can help us continue this work by partnering with us as a Flourish Kenya First Responder!